.happy.birthday.

last week was the week that marked the birth of two of my favorite people.  one dead (grams) and one living AMC.

to them and all of you on your birthday i want to share this:

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you welcome 1000 times over

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.west.elm.

this is an open letter to west elm:

I love you.  you are my newest addiction.  i cannot help but buy everything that you put on your website and send me in your catalog.  this being said we need to break up. my latest binge:

has made my new apartment amazing.

and while your products are reasonably priced and make my life look beautiful i think that after this i need to stop.

will i?

no, probably not.

and when i get those design dollars you promised me,

will i use them? yes

will i like it?  DOUBLE YES.

but the list of things i need is running low, and we are only buying for need right now.  so if you want my money (and i know you do!!!) please add a white kitchen table bench to your inventory line!!!  i will buy it and LOVE it forever i promise.

xoxo forever and always,

AMH

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.old.apartment.

as a child of the 90s i often reference great 90s hits.  while my students normally do not get the reference and think i am crazy (i am) the other adults in the room always laugh.

well as you all know i recently made a HUGE change in my life.  i moved 5 doors down and got a new apartment and a human roommate.  yesterday all my lovely purchases from WEST ELM came and today i am going to be putting the finishing touches on my room (cleaning it up, removing the rubbermaid containers, hanging pictures, etc).

I am in L.O.V.E with the new place.  its big, its clean its adult and its cheaper then living alone.

BUT…

every time i walk down the hall i have to pass the old apartment.  where i first lived on my own.  well it was not my first time living on my own but it was the first time everything was all mine.  no roommates (we wont count grams).  it was the culmination of a huge life change, leaving the city that i love (chicago), going to grad school, breaking up with the asshole, moving in with lisa and pa-thug for 2 years.  it was the reason everything happened for two years.  i picked it out, i paid for it, i did it.  it was all mine, rubber maid containers and all!

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i would not trade my new situation for anything, it is so nice having a built in partner in crime (except for when we take tequila shots at 2 am on a Thursday when we have school on Friday) but than again what else are your 20s for??

while the lyrics of the song really have nothing to do with my new or old apt, the sentiment of the song rings true.

plus who does not LOVE a little BNL on a sunday morning?

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.vacation.

aka KILL ME NOW

you may or may not remember that i am incable of being on vacation (away from my things) for longer that 5 days, UNLESS i am having a great time really on a vacation not just visiting family).

i have been ALONE at re and yo’s for 7 days.  that is 2 days COUNT IT TWO DAYS over my threshold.

this morning pushed me over the GD bridge.  from the time i got up she was ALL over me taking non stop.  at this point all i want to do is go home pack for the big move and DRINK.

BUT NO I HAVE TO GO TO ANOTHER GD mass.

 

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.want.the.saga.continues.

that little bitty also known as my mother read yesterdays blog post then sent me this:

so now she has 3 coach willis bags and i have 0.

in other news i am still at re and yo’s… and have an awesome tan.  apparently all my skin cancers scares this year have shown me nothing. (in reality i wore a hat and spf 55 and by awesome tan i mean i am no longer pasty white)

 

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.want.

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It is not often that Lisa is ahead of the latest fashion trends. However in the 90s she was the proud owner of 2 coach willis bags

Then in the late 90s she decided to do the most awful thing she could ever do to me. She gave them to good will (or so she says, I think she’s secretly using them in texas now that I want them!)

Normally I am all for her getting rid of things but I would never ok giving away something of value (why I still have 4 pairs of jeans in my closet that don’t fit)

I recently asked her to mail me the camel colored bag. She claimed she could not find it. I thought she was lying. It was the truth. Now I have to pay $300 for a new one. Vs getting Lisa’s vintage bag. I am still holding out hope that we will find the bag next time I’m in Houston.

mom keep looking!!! I know you would have wrong me so bad as to give such a classic bag to the poor. They won’t love it the way this poor girl will!!!

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.my.week.with.re&yo.day1-3.

remember that time when i ran away from my grandparents over Christmas break because yet another one of my cousins was getting married to a guy she had know less than a year.  and her father announced the impending engagment well before it was planned to go down?

well at the time the only way i could make my exit swiftly was to promise to be back for spring break.

well here i am, those 4 months moved quickly and i am back at re&yo’s.  ALONE.  ALL ALONE.  that’s right i am spending 9 days alone with my 75 year old grandparents.

that means 9 days of Fox news, 9 days of defending my lifestyle (being 26 and unmarried with no viable prospects), 9 days of defending what i spend my money on, 9 days of pure JOY.

it also means that i get back to my house sunday night which gives me like 5 hours to pack before i have to move down the hall.  anxiety at an all time HIGH.

so how does one cope with 9 days of re&yo PLUS high anxiety and no xanax?  ill tell you…

day 1:

90 year old’s surprise birthday party.  i’m 26.  the youngest couple there has been married for 28 years.  everyone was very impressed that i was a teacher and that i was in fact 26.  granted i had just driven for 9 hours and not washed my hair but still…

day 2:

30 minute discussion where i had to relive bailey’s death and defend the fact that i paid $200 to have him cremated. 

then my ordeal was compared with all the pets re&yo had lost and other family members.  clearly my trauma was lost on my lovely g-rents.  oh yes and i cried (time #1)

1 hour conversation about weddings.  A. i am not getting married.  B. i dont have a bf or a finance.  C. i don’t have to be married to be happy.

so why did we talk about this for so long.  FUCK if i know.  i then had to defend my ideas of weddings and why i can justify going to a high school friends wedding on a Saturday but not a family members on a Friday.

you may remember that i REFUSE to go to any wedding on a Friday that is not a national holiday, out of town weddings on friday nights are selfish and gauche.  it makes your attendees take a day off of work.  i am a huge fan of flying in on saturday morning flying out sunday morning and will do this for any wedding i am invited to.  CAN’T do this if your wedding is on a friday. grandma does not approve of these views and we had a tif (cry #2).

later in the car:

g-ma: “how does it feel to almost be done with your first year of teaching?”
me: “like i have 29 more left until i can retire”
g-ma: “well if you every got married you could quit.  i got married at 20 and never worked a day”
me: silently sobs (cry #3)

 

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.current.obsessions.

the past two weeks have been CRAZY.  its almost as if bailey knew that my life was going to take off and that i would be ok without him and he chose the perfect moment to move on.

my BIGGEST news is that i am moving!  i am not going very far just 5 doors down into a new apt and moving in with this guy:  (facebook)

which brings me to my

first obsession: MBP my new roommate, well house mate i guess.  we are bff’s and that is neat.

obsession 2: KOMBUCHAlike most things i refused to try this at first.  i looked into it a few years ago because bethany frankel was drinking it on her show.  then i saw the words fermented tea and i thought i would check myself.  i am currently in love with mystic mango and have tried cosmic cranberry which is a bit more vinegary and special than the mango.

OBSESSION 3: new sunglasses.  i have had the same sunglasses for about 2 years.  i left them at school on friday and had to drive ALL THE WAY TO SOUTH CAROLINA without them.  now i have to convince g-ma to take me to the mall (45 min away) to get some new ones.
thinking about getting these:seeing as i have to go to sunglass hut because the nearest nordstroms is back in charlotte and ill be DAMNED if i have to drive anywhere after the 9 hours it took me to get down here.

obsession 4: STRIPES

and yes i may just own all of these items (including the zebra) in the next few days

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Gramps

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Originally this post was going to be about the wild success of my st. Patrick’s day party.

Then tragedy struck.

Bailey’s stomach filled in the early afternoon. This is also called the bloat. If you remember the movie Marley and Me it happens to him and they are able to save him via surgery. Due to the severity of baileys condition and his old age I had to make the most difficult decision of my 26 years and end the life of my constant companion and Roommate.

Bailey is was my child. I spent 90% of my time with him and taking care of him and having to say good bye to him today was beyond difficult.

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The day started like another, he woke me up by blowing air in my face. We went for a potty walk and came back for breakfast. I went back to bed and a few hours later we went out for a poop. This is when trouble started. He started trying to vomit in the corner of the family room. I quickly ushered him onto the hardwood but nothing came out. For the next few hours this seen played over and over again in the house and on the porch. Then he tummy started to swell. At the same time I was realizing that he had not laid down or napped since our potty walk. I took to the Internet and identified the situation as bloat.

Leaving bailey I ran two doors down to get j and her opinion of the situation. She was not home so I called b, crying. Nothing like calling a friend balling on Sunday afternoon. He came over to go with me to the emergency vet.

I Was actually starting to thing bailey had turned a corner and we would be in and out all my worries assuaged. This was not the case.

When the women at the front desk saw boo boo she called back for a triage nurse STAT. Saying there was a canine in severe distress. I began to cry again as they whisked him away to a back room. I was then given a bunch of papers to sign. B and I had to wait about 10 minutes doe the nurse to come out and tell us that he was not doing well and that they could not get the swelling out and would need to keep working. When the room was ready B came with me and everyone kept trying to get him to sign the sheets as I was a crying mess.

The vet finally came in and showed us the x-ray of Bailey’s belly. The stomach which is usually half a fist was the only thing in his abdomen. The vet explains how his bloat was pushing all the other organs out of the way and that he was in a lot of pain but they put him on medicine and that it would be $7,000 to open him up and try to get his stomach right but that there was no guarantee there would not be other complications and a 60% chance he would make it though the surgery. I asked he was in pain when I brought him in and he said yes a lot, his heart rated was at 220. I again started to ball and told the vet that it was his time to go. The vet agreed that was the best decision and again poor b was left in the room alone with me sobbing.

I asked to see bailey and they said I could. It was about 15 more minutes and the tech came in with more papers and said something as going wrong and that she was not sure if we could see him. At this point I was beyond crying and just sat there, finally they led us into a new room that looked like a nursing home room. I hated everything about it. B agreed. All I wanted to do with get up and walk bailey out of there, They finally rolled him in on a cart. He looked so sad. His little tongue was sticking out and his eyes were more droopy then usual. They had his bottom half covered with a blanket from where they tried to puncture his stomach and get the gas out. My happy puppy looked so sick and sad. I rubbed his ear and foot like I would at home and spent a few minutes with him. Suddenly he tried to jump up. It was very scary and you could tell he was in pain and not happy. I called down to let them know it was time. B stayed with me in the room as the vet put the medicine into his IV. I rubbed baileys ear and foot as he took his last breath.

For a dog that hated human touch I feel like I was able to make his last moments better by rubbing his eyes and ears. I will never forget the feeling in the pit of my soul when the vet said he had passed. After 13 years of giving me so much joy I hope that in those last minutes I was able to repay him.

Every time I was sick bailey was always next to me, he always knew. When I had to move to a new city where I knew no one he was there. He was there to make sure no matter how lonely I was I was never really alone.

In his passing I again knew I was not alone as all my friends rushed to my side. N, k, j, and b all came over to sit with me as I cried. B cleaned up the kitchen and put baileys bowls away. N finished my laundry and k and j made sure I ate. The 5 of us went to a bar and had a drink for bailey.

even now I have to stop my self from reaching over the side of the bed to rub his ears.

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.i.hike.

Today is a day like no other. Not only have we Lots a very important hour of sleep but I have agreed to go hiking.

Whhhhhaaaa?

Yes my new friend b. has invited me. Last weekend we went to dc and I lost my dignity, self respect (puked in an elevator filled with a young family) and most notably my wallet. He took care of me. So I am guessing hiking cannot be so bad.

Once while living in Luxembourg Jess and I went hiking in Switzerland. I believe I finished off two bottles of red win on the trip. i have a really awesome picture that proves i went hiking here is one:  there is a better one of me in action but i cannot find my cd with all the pictures on it…

I am wishing gramps was a few years younger because I know this is up his ally

here are two pics of me at the top of the hike (yeah i walked all the way to west virginia)
and to prove it was me, me in my tennies:

and if you follow me in instagram you can share your shock:

yeah… i hike!

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