since i have been dating quite a bit lately (ok well a bit for me!) i thought i would share some of my prep rituals/rules.
well they seem to bring good luck AND i have little else to write about at the current moment.
1. ALWAYS paint your nails. if you do not paint your nails you will not get a new husband/boyfriend. this is certain. a wise manicurist once told this to my good friend HP and well it is true. when ever i have a fresh coat the boys are DRAWN TO ME.
2. Shower. I am the queen of oh i showered this morning and did not do anything all day so i really don’t need to get my hair wet AGAIN game but come on if you are serous you will shower. (side confession i usually don’t shave my legs but that is a whole other personal issue for another time). along with this if you are serious you will DO your hair.
one can always tell how serious i am about something by if i do my hair or not. sorry loves but most of you are not worth the 2 hours of blow drying and fighting with this hot mess.
on a side note it is totally acceptable to wear a shower cap and put your hair up in rollers if it was washed that morning. THAT IS WHY DRY SHAMPOO WAS INVENTED!
3. EAT. because you will most likely be downing the vino once you get to your local and well lets be honest no one likes a drunk chatty cathy. I always must eat b.c any of you who know me personally know that i LOVE to drink. i also love to make up stories, lie, tell secrets, and become socially inappropriate when i have had too much to drink on an empty stomach. none of this is appropriate on a first/second date. also, no one likes someone who SHOVELS food into their mouth the second it arrives. (another thing i am quite found of but have found then men do not think is very sexy!) perhaps that’s why i have not found mr. right!
4. Stay one drink behind your date. This is so he will be more drunk then you and you can then judge him more clearly. this also means NO PREGAMING. this is not your sorority mixer and you are now of age so NO predate drinks. YOU HEAR ME NONE. another rule i have gotten really good about keeping because i have to now drive to my dates. i refuse to let people pick me up at my house, because i am afraid they will stock me BUT SERIOUSLY because i am afraid k$ will appear and well that is just awkward. lets do a quick flash back to 2006 when my first serious boyfriend came to pick me up. k$ met him at the door and offered him a beer. mind you we were like sophomores in high school and right behind k$ were thug and lisa. my poor date blushed and was like hmmm no thank you i’m driving. i was mortified.
another time lisa pulled out the pictures of me from the 3-5th grade when i weight approximately 120 lbs and was 5 feet tall. she claims she was just so proud of how i had grown up but i think she just secretly wanted me to live with her FOREVER and did not want any boys taking me away.
5. dress for your expectations. i remember when i was first starting to go on dates after my debokcal with the ass-hole. it was so much different then dressing for the bars of oxford, ohio. AMC gave me this advice such as do not wear a crew neck shirt he will think your not into him. while i would love to say that i always heed this advice that would be a HUGE LIE.
6. have a back up plan. when going on a first date i always prep my date for my hasty departure. this is quite easy as i am a teacher and oh i have to get up so early for school but now that summer is coming i will need new excuses. with piety date i did not aways follow this rule and well that got me into alot of awkard situations.
7. TELL SOMEONE WHERE YOU ARE GOING B.C. YOUR DATE MY TRY AND CHOP YOU UP AND PUT YOU IN THE OCEAN.
i am serious about that last one!