.dog.jail.

remember how a few days ago i said that bailey the dog was non-negotiable.  i have changed my mind…

apparently doggie houdini has been escaping our plush accommodations at the red roof in and roaming the parking lot.  the lovely staff have just been guiding him back to the room (without my knowledge).

WELL that was until this morning.  apparently bailey decided to no just roam the parking lot, but go onto the 4 lane MAJOR highway.  i would like to think that he was looking for me but really who knows.  while roaming the high way, a kind police officer picked him up.  THANK GOD he was not hit, because if that had happened i would be inconsolable and probably still balling curled up in the fetal position.

WHAT? you shocked.  my 13 year old dog (yes his rap sheet says 11, i told them wrong) who BARLEY MOVES some how got the energy to no only break free of the room but sneak his way out to the main road.

SO AM I.

especially since yesterday we went for a walk in old town and he went two blocks and then collapsed onto the floor and i thought i was gonna lose him.  thankfully there was a sweet dog loving soccer mom that saw his dramatic collapse and quickly scooped us up into her black range rover and drove us the 2 blocks back to back jeep.

so back to when bailey got picked up by the po-po.  he was brought to doggie jail and held until i was out of work and ready to go ALL THE WAY OUT TO BFE and claim him.  it was a very intense process and i was very overwhelmed by it all.  NOT ONLY did i have to go there but i also had to pay bail for him.  thats right it cost me $35 to get him out.  OH and he now has a fairfax county wrap sheet and mug shot!

you see that… he was gonna be up for adoption!!!!!!

are you pissing your pants?  because when i called the doggie jail to let them know i was coming the women on the other end said “wait i need to pull up his mug shot, oh yes this sweetheart what a pretty dog”.  What every mother wants to hear their “child” has a sweet mug shot.

so after filling out the necessary paper work i hear them call back for inmate number 243877.  yes that is right he got an inmate number!  you would think that after this ordeal he would be so happy to see me.

NO!!!

i was keeled down on the floor ready to embrace my lovely pooch and he turned to walk back into jail.  WHAT???  way to make mommy feel like an a$$ hole.  now not only are you running away but you don’t want me to get you!  i was crying b.c my baby has finally gotten out of jail and he is ready to run from me.

so what did i do?  took him to mcdonalds to get an icream and try and win back his favor.  i cannot wait for my own children when i have to bribe them to like me.


they i drove all over the greater DC area for 4 hours looking for a dog crate that would contain my monster dog.  apparently the only crates that are big enough for my moose dog are $199 and a big out of my price range seeing as he is 13… and after playing in traffic today i am convinced he has a death wish.

so i got him a cage!


he is still very mad at me and is pissed about his new home but i know i am doing the right thing!  i mean if he gets hit by a car i wont be able to get him taxidermist and then who is gonna hang out with ziggallo??  [you know the suit of armor my grandparents have that i covet!]

sorry to all my lovely neighbors at the red roof inn.  hopefully i am leaving on Friday so you wont have to listen to my a$$hole dog bark any more.

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