.pity.party.of.one.

remember those days of shame that used to rule my life.  THEY ARE BACK!

don’t get excited, its not as drama filled as you might hope.

i went on a second date with my new friend (no funny nick name).  the first one was not the best date i had ever been on but i decided to give my new friend a second chance.  you know people get nervous on first dates, they try too hard, they get to0 drunk so i have made it a rule that i will always go on at least two dates (that is if i am asked on a second date!).  so on saturday my new friend asked me out again.  i should have said no, i should have known that it was just not a good day for me but i did not want to be a bitch and i wanted to give him a second chance.  For whatever reason we did not click the first time but there was no glaring reason.  so i accepted and met him for dinner on saturday night.  we had dinner and it was same as the first date, nothing glaringly wrong i just was not into it.  i wanted to be, as he is a great guy, has all of the things you look for, a great job, no abnormalities, he is fit, owns his own home, and is like really into me. i think the problem is that we do not share the same sense of humor.  he finds me funny and all (i mean how could you not) but we just don’t click.

or maybe the thing that i don’t like is that he is into me.  perhaps i am as cliche as the next girl and i only like guys who don’t like me, want nothing to do with me, and make it clear i am not good enough for them.  whatever the reason i am not into my new friend.

we were out to dinner and he tried to hold my hand and i was just not having it.  we were waiting to get into this really neat bar and i was freezing.  he suggested he warm up my hand and i replied “oh no its ok i can keep it in my pocket”  UGH I AM BITCH.

my second major bitch offense was after i went to see his house (it was so nice!) and we were watching pretty women within like 5 mintues of it starting i passed out.  Poor friend tried to snuggle with me and finally i obliged.  he then asked if he could kiss me and my half awake self replied “i’d rather you not”.  WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME??

my last glaring bitch move was when i was leaving and he went in again for the kill and i turned my head and peaced out.  i was trying so hard not to lead him on that i was like a total bitch and now i feel AWFUL about it.  but then i have a serious problem because i want to apologize but i don’t want to lead him on.  you see i have been lead on 1 too many times to do it to someone else.  but i think i did the total opposite and hurt him anyway.

so here i am, feeling sorry for myself and having a pity party for one.  hopefully i can shake it soon, i just don’t know if i should text him or let it go.  AHHH life is so hard for me.

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Filed under date, shambles

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