while most southern girls hear their mothers say “bless her heart” or “she’s precious” my mother always said with a look of utter sympathy but a glimmer of snark in her eye “she is not a pretty girl” and sometimes “she is not a cute girl”.

my whole life i have hear lisa say this about various girls.  sometimes it was just to make me feel better that i was one of the only girls not invited to freshman year home coming (she mentioned this as all the other couples paired up and i stood alone), or that sophomore year (when homecoming fell on my 16th birthday) i was again not asked and she questioned about other girls who were.

when the boy i was “dating” in high school (we went on two dates and he got grounded for the summer for drinking at a party) got taken from me by my “best friend” she said “its ok ‘she is not a cute girl'”.  as if that would make me feel better, for being scammed by my bestie.

in college she tried to make my sicko freshman roommate seem like less of a B*TCH by saying “well “she is not a pretty girl”

most recently she (and about every other person who has seen the pictures) said this about the girl my ex bf cheated on me with.  as if 3 years wasted is fine because “she is not a pretty girl”.

other times it just came out of the blue, like when a girl would be making out with a boy at the bar and drunk lisa would just blurt out … “why is he kissing her ‘she is not a pretty girl'”.

recently AMC and i have been using the phrase and it just reminds me that while at one time i would have died if someone told me i was growing into my mother, i am now happy to have picked up such a unique phrase.  while i have not mastered the exact way she says it i feel like i have perhaps put my own spin on the phrase.  because sometimes someone can be dressed to the nines, have all the goods you want but just “not be a pretty girl” and as shallow as it is, it does make you feel a little better.

i would say it does feel good to look at people from high school and have lisa peak over my shoulder and say “oh what happened she is not a cute girl”.  but that would be shallow and we all know that i am not shallow and would never show people to lisa to have her honestly comment on their look just to make me feel better that i am now 25, not married, and living at home and without a job and $0.82 in my bank account.

so once again here’s to you lisa.  the best and only mother i have ever had.  i am so excited to become a little more like you every day (and bring amc along in the process)


NOTE: all the pictures are of little AJH and i.  and lisa would NEVER say that we are “just not cute girls”!



Filed under a splash of happy, AMC, lessons from lisa

4 responses to “.she.is.not.a.pretty.girl.

  1. ajh

    uh the last party that lisa would never said we were not cute girls, i bet to differ..
    when she was here for parents weekend JEV broke out that photo album scrap book of me mom made and pulled out the up do photo.. lisas exact words “oh you guys it was horrible, i even had to tell her she looked beautiful” rude lisa.

  2. yes but she did not say oh “she is not a cute girl” she just accurately described the awful hairdo you had!

    i side with lisa on this one. that hair do was AWFUL and JEV was right for pulling it out! love ya

  3. i understand and great blog 🙂

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