while most southern girls hear their mothers say “bless her heart” or “she’s precious” my mother always said with a look of utter sympathy but a glimmer of snark in her eye “she is not a pretty girl” and sometimes “she is not a cute girl”.
my whole life i have hear lisa say this about various girls. sometimes it was just to make me feel better that i was one of the only girls not invited to freshman year home coming (she mentioned this as all the other couples paired up and i stood alone), or that sophomore year (when homecoming fell on my 16th birthday) i was again not asked and she questioned about other girls who were.
when the boy i was “dating” in high school (we went on two dates and he got grounded for the summer for drinking at a party) got taken from me by my “best friend” she said “its ok ‘she is not a cute girl'”. as if that would make me feel better, for being scammed by my bestie.
in college she tried to make my sicko freshman roommate seem like less of a B*TCH by saying “well “she is not a pretty girl”
most recently she (and about every other person who has seen the pictures) said this about the girl my ex bf cheated on me with. as if 3 years wasted is fine because “she is not a pretty girl”.
other times it just came out of the blue, like when a girl would be making out with a boy at the bar and drunk lisa would just blurt out … “why is he kissing her ‘she is not a pretty girl'”.
recently AMC and i have been using the phrase and it just reminds me that while at one time i would have died if someone told me i was growing into my mother, i am now happy to have picked up such a unique phrase. while i have not mastered the exact way she says it i feel like i have perhaps put my own spin on the phrase. because sometimes someone can be dressed to the nines, have all the goods you want but just “not be a pretty girl” and as shallow as it is, it does make you feel a little better.
i would say it does feel good to look at people from high school and have lisa peak over my shoulder and say “oh what happened she is not a cute girl”. but that would be shallow and we all know that i am not shallow and would never show people to lisa to have her honestly comment on their look just to make me feel better that i am now 25, not married, and living at home and without a job and $0.82 in my bank account.
so once again here’s to you lisa. the best and only mother i have ever had. i am so excited to become a little more like you every day (and bring amc along in the process)
NOTE: all the pictures are of little AJH and i. and lisa would NEVER say that we are “just not cute girls”!