.lisa.

lisa is my mother.  mother might be a strong word.  she gave birth to me over 24 years ago, and has paid and cared for me most of my life.  expect when tennis got in the way.  then i was left to fend for myself.  throughout middle school she forgot about me on a regular basis and i was left at the bus stop alone while she chilled at the neighborhood pool.  when i got my wisdom teeth out she with-held pain killers because they intervened with her tennis schedule and thought i would overdoes if i was left alone with them.  on her visit to miami she sent my friends home with random boys in attempts for them to find the “happiness i have with thug (my father)”.

regardless i have turned out alright and we are now friends.  both AJH and i refer to her as lisa and she has taken it upon her self to get us married off and out of her hair asap.

this morning after watching the final two episodes of mad men season two curtsy of AMC we has a riveting conversation on why i do not make out with mr. match.  this all started because she asked me if i kissed him good night last night.  while i firmly believe that this is non of her GD business i lied to her just to incite a good time.  and boy oh boy was it a good time!

lisa: why don’t you kiss mr. match
me: i dont want to
lisa: i think you should or he will lose interest in you.  i am going to call AMC  and get her opinion on this.
me: AMC knows i don’t kiss him.  she is ok with it.  LISA do you think i am easy?
lisa: yes.  you should make out with him.  he is a nice boy.  does he like living at home?
me: no 27 year olds are not supposed to live at home lisa. he is moving into his condo soon.
lisa: woah he is older than you
me: yes he could be my dad.  he is so old.
lisa: he is 2 years older than you
me: he is really old.  like when i was in 5th grade he was in high school
lisa:  that is a lie.  you should make out with him
me: it would be like making out with a grandpa
lisa:  HE IS ONLY 2 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU
me: i am a young 24.  i am young for my age.
lisa:  i am calling AMC does she know about this? is she coming to visit.  tell her she can when we move into a real house.
me: she knows
lisa: does mr. match like scones?  does he want some of my cranberry scones?  can you call and ask him.
me: you can ask him when he picks me up.
lisa: he is coming here to our house? now? oh i need to go get dressed.  why is he coming here?
me: to eat your scones.

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1 Comment

Filed under a splash of happy, AJH, AMC, daily musings, lisa, mr. match, shambles, thug

One response to “.lisa.

  1. Pingback: .mr.match. « get.a.splash.of.happy

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