.we’s.getting.desperate.

so the holidays are upon us.

and here is the scoop.

i have to suffer though alone.  well not necessary alone i will have the mark, and the goose and baileys to keep me company but i can only power thought with so much alcohol before the have a negative reaction with my xanax, zoloft, lunesta and the other drugs i will also be ingesting.  or i get caught in an intervention  about how jesus saves and all things are possible though him and the republican party.

VOM.COM

apparently my counterparts all found mates and subscribe to the 100 days of knowing someone before a wedding and a honey moon baby so i have to also suffer through watching a 22 year old take care of a new born and possible the engagement of another to man she just met.  i mean i’ve had the same uggs for longer then they have known each known their respective men.  but who am i to judge?!?!

am i bitter.  YES.

in two words HELL YES.

so i have decided to find my own enjoyment for the holiday season.  you may have seen this on twitter:

lets all just take a moment to think about how amazing it would be to show up at the g-rents with a rando and pretend like we are madly in love ?!?!  i’m thinking best holiday.  in the history of the world. i would probably fake a pregnancy for added attention but that’s just me.

and yes i am serious.  i am also tres upset that it has been out there for 10 minutes and NO ONE has responded.

piety party of one?  HERE I AM!

in other news i have recently tried really hard to branch out.   i went to happy hour and me and my two friends were the only people under 40.  actually i retract that there were a few other ladies under 40 but they were on the arms of men older then my battery operated grandpa.  so obviously i met lots of potentials there and have spent the whole weekend ignoring calls [you know, playing hard to get].  then i went to a men’s basketball game.  mostly because i’m really creepy but partly because kk’s husband was playing and she wanted company and well it beats grading papers.  then i ignored more phone calls from possible boyfriends.  and all the advanced from the b-ball players

GAWD i am popular.

 then because i was so warn out from being so awesome i decided that i was going to get into FX’s american horror story.  i must say that nothing has entranced me the same way since the OC.  it is THAT GOOD.  like mad men meets the Tudors GOOD.  and yes it is raunchy like the Tudors.

basically i have really been wasting the last 10 weeks of my life because i have not been living for Wednesday at 10pm.

if you want to know HOW amazing AHS is check out mfamb’s post.

second post of the weekend.  i must have hired an assistant…

.holiday.party.

so i am really really popular.  HOWEVER, all my adoring fans live 500 or more miles away.  this has reduced me to ONE yes ONE holiday party.  the school holiday party.

thankfully one of my friends at school sent me this guide.  and i quickly printed this:

this does not tell me how much to drink however…

ill go with a bottle of wine and then really let loose when all the cool kids head to the biker bar to find me a new husband.  (the joys of living in BFE)

in other news i went to happy hour last night and was toasted after two margaritas.  mylifeislame.com

.hello.again.

sorry for my LONG leave of absence.

My life has been crazy.  i would love to report that its because of a new mr. in my life but unforchantly that is NOT the case.  unless we are going to start counting gramps as my mister

how can i not love him??

since the last time i posted i have been to AMCs bachlorette party and houston for thanksgiving.  so what can i say my life is tres hard.

photo recap of the party that was fort lauderdale.  now if you follow me on twitter you saw that i missed my flight cried for 3 hours in the airport and beat out two gold teeth sisters for a seat on the plane.  when i finally arrived in FLL it was just what i needed.  fun times with my bffs!  i even got to participate in my most treasured college activity bench time (with AMC and KL)

returning home was so hard after such a great weekend (and becuase my flight was at 6am).

texas was also so much fun but much too short.  thanksgiving was a blur (i was drunk 90% of the time) but SO MUCH FUN!  cannot wait to see all my family espically little AJH again in a few short weeks.

i finally got my birthday gift from ajh.  here we are using it on dustythis could possibly be my favorite photo ever.

other then that i work 1000 hours a day and sleep.

oh and i have recently gained 500 lbs.  so i am off to the gym with my new iphone.  more on that next time i get a lazy moment!