sparkel pumpkins are much classier then carved ones! (and I know have the knives to carve pumpkins while making awsome apple tart)
Monthly Archives: October 2011
as you may or may not know i am obsessed with my sisters laugh. she laughs so hard that she stops making sounds and thats when you know you have really done/said something funny.
saturday morning while i was hiding from the snow in my little apt i found this website: happy place
i started laughing so hard tears were flowing from my eyes.
i really want to start making these and hanging them up. mostly at school. but that would be HIGHLY inappropriate. and we all know i am just the picture of appropriateness!
anyone who is looking to buy my a holiday present need look no further than this list! i am also still accepting late birthday presents!!
this was a very hard week for me. if you follow me on twitter you saw that on Thursday my favorite coffee cup fell on the floor and shattered into a million little pieces:
this was a horribel moment and one of the very few in my life worthy of the mass text. it went out to lisa and thug and ajh and amc. thug called back to make sure i was not going to go postal over the issue. lisa told me we had more and i could take one home at thanksgiving. AMC told me to get off ebay.
all my frirends/family know me too well.
this morning was the second time in a week i had an occasion for the mass text. after months of not sening one out 2 in one week!
what was his reason? SNOW. at 7am bailey woke me up and it was SNOWING. seriously i did not know we time traveled to sibera over night.
this was only 1 hour in to the day. it has been snowing basically non stop all morning. gramps and i are cozied up on the couch/floor sipping coffee and watching dirty soap on E! we went to the farmers market to get some local honey and some $2 a lb apples. i ate one and it was the most delicious apple i have ever had. totally worth the cost!
off to do my all consuming school work. grades are due this week and i need to get into shape for AMCs bachlorette party in Ft. Lauderdale!
if only i had a forever lazy to keep me warm on this snowy saturday:
ajh should we get family ones for christmas this year??
when i transferred to catholic school in third grade (because i could not read or spell from my public education, the same education i now give to unsuspecting children) i had to get penny loafers. it was penny loafers, saddle shoes or buster browns.
FLASHBACK: i was a FAT child. you can ask AJH, Lisa or any boy i dated in highschool that was ambused with the photos when they came to the house. i was very large. thats ok. i’ve recovered with therapy. like 100 lbs in 4th grade large. anyway this only make my normally fat feet ever wider. i really wanted the pink saddle shooes, they did not make them in EEE so i had to get black and white. when i wanted penny loafers the only ones in my size where with a heal. inappropriate for third grade so we settled on buster browns.
well now i want penny loafers, the ones without the heal.
any of these (all available from zappos) will do! (HINT HINT BIRTHDAY HINT)
a little trip over to the cole haan website brought me to this:
I MUST OWN THESE SHOES! they are perfect for my birthday. shiny and comfy, AND ON SALE.
all my will power is going into not buying these!
this weekend, you know like in 6 days, i am the first brides maid in my bff wjk’s wedding. no fear, since my life is currntly a sece pool, i am 100% certian my dress is not going to fit over my thunder thighs and xl ass. like most normal people i am worried about this, so worried in fact that i spent yesterday hung over and eating cinimon raisin bread dipped in egg and fried, chocolage and eddy’s ice cream.
i also have told my dilemma to every/anyone who will listen because we all know talking about working out is the same thing as doing it. what really irks me above all else is a year ago i was getting ready to run the chicago marathon with a fractured hip, this year i cannot get my life together enough to go for a run.
back to my dress. it does not fit. so i will be working out for an hour every day this week (SERIOUSLY) and buying some spanks. i cannot let wjk down. and i mean this pictures are going to be around for FOREVER so i have to look good.
i cannot think of anything else right now. just by me crap. i just love things. LOTS AND LOTS OF THING!
oh and a new tv, a dresser, a kitchen-aid mix master, and new clothes to wear to work b.c as i said above i’ve become a bit portly!
i love vodka.
like alot, sorta like i wish it was water and i could drink it all the time.
this morning vodka like most things i love, rebelled against me. true to form i abused my love of vodka last night. and like any boyfriend/lover vodka saw that i had an addiction and used it to its advantage. what a selfish bastard.
last night i ventured out. SURPRISE! it was my friend k-10′s birthday. we are work friends but becomeing real life friends. she is also very into my husband hunt. she herself just won a husband this past summer and is eager for me to join her exclusive club. i am very eager to join, like freshmen during sorority rush desperate, but i digress.
back to my abusive relationship with my clear liquid love: VODKA.
as i sat down to dinner, 11 people: i knew 2, i saw that everyone was drinking heavily. Since i am not one to stick my nose up at something like this i joined right in and got myself a dirty blue cheese martini. that baby went down smooth and i was still a tad uncomfortable in the presence of 9 strangers so i ordered a gimlet. this made me the belle of the ball as apparently all the 80 year old grandmas, me, and the men at the table enjoy this wonderful amrita. i felt so sure in my choice of drink until it came. i had told the waitress i wanted it on the rocks but aparently she did not care what i wanted and brought it straight up; a vodka gimlet straight up? how betty drapper of me! i have to say that i loved it stright up and might (not really) order it stirght up again. (it was good i just really like the high ball glass)
back to my love affair with the aqua vitae. after dinner i was still on my feet and had publicly proclaimed that i am only allowed two vodka drinks a night before switching to burbon. (and yes i mean bourbon not wiskey, don’t make me explain it to you!) and lets be honest again it better be makers mark and if you really want me to be happy get the 46!
so upon moving our party what did i get myslef to drink? oh a cape codder. yes that is right, i made a poor life choice. but lets me honest it was either more vodka or bud light. and while i am not above drinking beer i would rather be hung over then deal with what beer does to my belly. so i indulged myself in to the fire water with 2 more (ok ok it was 3 more) drinks.
i hang my head in shame.
this could also be why i took a cab (in the suburbs you cannot hail a cab as you leave a bar you must call hours in advance!?!?!) home at 2 am and am finally fully functional at 4:30 pm. THANK GOD ancient aliens is the marathon on history channel today.
[and to be honest with you fully functional means i finally am not wrapped up in my red plaid blanky, nursing a red gatorade on the couch, in a pool of self piety]
14 days until my birthday ass-holes. tomorrow you will see what i want. think of it like i’m marrying myself and you are obligated to get me something. i mean i am going to be 26, single, and a dog lady… the least you can do is buy me something shiny!
by now you have heard that bank of america (you know the same company i tried so hard to work for and they kept denying me) is up shits creek again.
not to say NANANANNA but i mean maybe if you had hired me i could have told you that the best way to get your company back on track is not to start charging $5 for debit cards.
oh also, its not my fault you paid a sucky CEO way too much money, made bad investments and did not hire me. so you can take your $5 fee and shove it.
the best was today when i called bofa and talked to customer service rep Casey (who had just come back in from being a cowboy in texas, or so i am guessing from his accent). anyway he kept trying to feed me all this crap about federal regulations and people who make fraudulent charges and how the bank paying me interest is very expensive. UM HELLO. sounds like a personal problem bank of america.
also casey, not to make you feel like a bumb ass but i know a bit more about banking then you do and the interest the bank is paying me is not what is putting them under. also neither are the “fradulent” debit card charges. what is putting you under is your bad business practices, acquisition of country wide, quest to be the largest bank in america, and the over payment of CEO’s who drive your bank further into the ground.
NO to get on my high horse but i am sorta already saddled and in full cantor so i will continue.
just because you are a bank and you have to follow the rules and regulations set up by the government DOES not mean you can try and use them to con me out of my money. Just saying words like FDIC, federal regulation and new laws and expect for me to roll over.
IN CASE YOU WERE UNCLEAR ABOUT THE LAWS they are charging you more money because you are making errors all over the place. My students have more number sense than you clowns. the LAW and the FDIC (who by the way is in charge of you and has NOTHING TO DO WITH ME except to protect my money when it is in your hands) are making you pay fees b.c encase you forgot the government and MY tax dollars had to bail you out recently. OH you forgot about that. silly me to remember.
so its been a good 25 year run, first with nations bank and then in 1998 when you merged with bank america and became bank of america. personally i think we should go back to the pre-merger days and warn Hugh McCall of the trouble he is getting him self into. he prob would have also picked someone other than that jerk-off ken lewis to be his successor.
i will stop however bc you don’t come here to hear how smart and educated i am you come here for my comedy. well just have to tell you i think these crack-pots over at bofa are pretty funny if they think im gonna give them $60 a year for a little debit card.
that’s more expensive then an AMEX. and you get lots of free things and points with an AMEX!