.certificate.of.appreciation.

yes that’s right i got a certificate of appreciation

jealous?

you should be.

remember when i swore i would not get my hair cut until locks of love and then when i cut my hair myself?

well now i have this:  eat your hearts out

.10.things.

10 things you did not know about me:

1. i normally read 2 or 3 books at one time (thanks dad!)
2. i’m a baby whisper, they just love me.
3. one time at golf camp i peed my jean short overalls.  i pretended like it did not happen and feel like i got away with it.
4. i cannot be on vacation longer then 10 days before having a melt down
5. i LOATH emoticons.  but have subcomb to using them on occasion.  i am in rehab for these slip ups.
6. i lost being best dressed in highschool.  we wore uniforms so i am not sure what type of honor this would have been.
7. i love rewards programs, even though the economist in me knows better.
8. i think head boards are ridiculous, much like flight attendants and real estate agents
9. i covet ajh’s laugh.  when she laughs really hard she goes silent and then gaps for air, i would insert a picture but i don’t have one.  just thinking about it makes me smile
10. i listen to npr 99% of the time i am in the car

and 5 things you guessed becuase you are so smart

1. i am the only person who thinks i am funny and i am completely ok with it
2. i have ibs and love to talk about it, to anyone and everyone, especially in non appropriate situations
3. i’m a really good speller and grammar aficionado [oh wait, no i'm not see above: non appropriate]
4. i have an abnormal relationship with my parents, it goes one way.  as in they treat me like a daughter and i treat them like my bff/personal staff/therapists/bank of last resort/etc.
5. it was either this or another rant about studying calculus, my lack of job and other not so happy stuff.

just because the rest of this post was not random enough…

.au.pair.of.new.beginings.

there is a nasty rumor going around my family that i am an au pair.  while i would love to be (only it if it was for someone fabulous like kate and wills) i am not.  oh they don’t have kids yet?  perhaps they will adopt me.

on a recent phone call to the chocolate squirrel (my grandmother) i was confronted with a large amounts of rumors about none other than moi.  apparently my life is just that fabulous.

i mean here is a recent picture of me in pbi:you can pick which one i am.

there were also copious passive aggressive slams about my single, childless status.  my usual quip about not finding anyone willing to knock me up was not used as i have not move passed the point of caring.

back to the truth about what i am currently doing:

NOT a THING

shocker of the 3 type right?  in all seriousness i am studying for my test on the 23 of july, going on job interviews, taking care of my blog, and doing the occasional free babysitting for the gracious people who have taken me in.  we will call them B&T and then the 2yo and nb which are their two girls.  one was just born today, the nb, and the other is 2 hence 2yo. (im getting really cleaver with these names right?)

perhaps that is where the au pair rumor started.

why am i now living with people who are not lisa and pat? well they moved to texas and since i am still unemployed, but loath the idea of living in a state that is larger then most countries, i stayed in my true home, the east coast where states are small and people talk normal, i had to find new people to mooch off of.  enter B&T.

and if you are still worried about how i am spending my life, here is the math problem i am about to go work on:

yeah it makes my head hurt too.  sucks to my asthmar right?

.sorry.i.party.

while i was down in PBI (after we procured the flowers) i attended a lovely party for amc and jpc.  their engagment party was wonderful.  here is a visual recap for you:

can you tell i got a new camera?? (everyone should thank LISA and PAT) such a step up from backberry pictures

.hold.on.

seriously, i will be back and better then ever in a short bit of time.

i got back from flordia, started backing, left for an interveiw, came back to pack somemore and am moving today and tomorrow. once i am settled at my new home (more on this next week) i will do some back post and some new post!

i miss all of you and know you miss me too! here is a sneak peek of my new camera and the fun i had in fl:

.w.t.f.

look where amc took me:

We (me, amc and her mom Ann) went to this palace to pick up flowers for the party. This is the flower palace owned by SILVIA

This women and her bird, cat and dog need to be in her own bravo show ASAP!

AMC and her got started talking about her wedding flowers. AMC wants peaonies. Said pea-ON-ies. Lord help her b.c aparently the pea-ON-IES are very expensive.

You see you have to order them in advance from Netherlands and by the box at first the box had 500 flowers by the end of our time at the flower shop it had 50.

She went on and on about all the ugly arrangements. Each bride was “this one”. My favorite quote “whatever bitch”. In reference to giving a bride calla lillies. In her country these flowers are for funerals they belong on the ground not at a wedding. “whatever bitch”

Each bride was described by their ethnicity.

She pulled out her 20 inch stack of photos and walked us though each one. The Mexican wedding was at least 200 pages. OUT OF CONTROL.

I get nothing until 10 days before so you tell me. I do it. I hate it when they come a tear in advance, I don’t know if i’ll be here in a year. I take no money from them until the day. I give great deal. Shop around.
You tell me.

as we were leaving silvia took belvadear out of his cage

and cranked up adele:

together this is them dancing:

I am going to miss silvia, her bird, and her flowers.  there is video of the dancing.  if i get my hands on it i will upload it.

.favorite.week.

tomorrow starts my favorite week of the year.  it is the week i go to Florida to see AMC.  this time is extra special for a few reasons:

1. shes ENGAGED
2. she is moved into her new house
3. her engagement party!

this is how last years trip went, and this is my favorite pic:

it is so hard to believe that it has been over a year since we have seen eachother.  and how much has changed in each of our lives since our last visit!

what makes this trip extra special is that my lovely mother and father bought me a camera for graduation!  so i will be able to do a college of the trip when i return.  NO more BLACKBERRY pictures for me!

one not so nice thing about this vacation is that when i return i have 2 days until i am homeless. right now my life is in shambles and besides the suitcase i have backed for PBI and my hanging items everything else is thrown into boxes and ready for storage.  (that is a SLIGHTLY large lie, as i wish it was all in boxes but i just can’t get it all put away.  its so hard to put everything away when you are just so sure you are going to need it)

i packed up all of my crafting items, workout clothes, unmentionables, winter shoes and teaching stuff, yet there is still just so much CRAP lieing around.  i cant even summarize what it is b.c its just junk (but junk i cannot part with or live without so don’t get any ideas about tossing it lisa!)

i will be off from blogging until i am back next week… unless something amazing happens then you will get a lovely post from my crackberry.  perhaps some awsome airport photos from my NEWARK layover.  YUCK

.sh*t.money.says

recently i have found myself spending lots of alone time with both lisa and k$.  if you did not know lisa joined pintrest and i have been helping her with her pinning.

tonight we had another pinning session where she looked for haircuts. this was very fun.  i love how lisa has become an early adopter to this new amazing internet site.  i also like how i am the only person following her boards. [i am overly obsessed with pintrest, if you are not on it you are MISSING out]

 

on to the real meaning of this post.  my brother k$.

today i took k$ with me to run a special errand at target.  during this errand k$ overheard the details to a secret.  k$ cannot keep a secret if his life depended on it.  not only can he not keep a secret but he does the worlds most annoying secret keeping error of all time.  it goes a little something like this “AM AM AM oh never mind i cannot tell you, mom said i cannot tell you”  well you LITTLE SHIT why did you bring it up.

so after finishing our business at target, k$ and i got into the car and i looked at him and said “if you tell anyone about that secret i will castrate you”  he looked at me and said “i will not” and looked out the window.  This was not the response i was expecting so i asked money if he knew was castration was.  he pulled on his lip (tick #1) and then did this new monster hands thing (tick #2) and then said no.  i told him i would CUT OFF HIS BOY PARTS.  his eyes got huge and he stared at me.  his ticks went off again and then he popped his neck (tick #3).  He looked at me square in the eye and said “that is a threat.  you tell me a threat and i will take you to court”  he looked out the window and then shot back “you threaten me i will threaten you.  i will take you to court”.  suppressing laughter i looked at him and said “its not a threat its a promise.  i WILL castrate you if you tell that secret”

as i drove off to our next location with you missing a beat k$ [for the 10 time that day] started into how he does not need to go to school on june 16 for the 100th time.  i was so tempted to bring up his impeding castration again but i figured that would be to much…

about 10 min into the car ride he looked at me again and said “YOU TELL ME A THREAT [TICK #1 and #3] i will tell you a threat and take you to jail”  i guess it started to sink in.

hopefully he can keep it!

 

PS.  do you want this?  i think you do.  BUY IT NOW.

what about this:

.rhwnyc.recap.

in case you live under a rock last night was NIGHT 2 of the moroccan adventure.

i have a few questions about these sickos and why the UNITED STATES allowed them to leave our confines, or perhaps why they were let back in. No do not get me wrong, i love this show and the drama that it brings to my dull life but i mean UGLY american times 10.

second HOW DID THE COUNTESS get all this MONEY??? i mean i am assuming that she is paying for this since she invited them (remember back to when bethany invited her surfing on season 1 and then left her to pay the bill). perhaps bravo paid, regardless who the hell does the countess think she is.

third, is sonja the new kelly?!?!? i mean she is off her effing rocker!!!  and if she was off having dinner with the king of saudi arabia right after the gulf war i think she can handle the desert.

i do like how cindy stood up for sonja even though she was totally hating on her and i feel like she is going to murder sonja in her sleep on episode 3.

WHAT THE HELL is alex wearing????  and why is jill wearing a fanny pack and talking about bobby… perhaps she and boby are in trouble.

before you move on poor yourself a trenta of pinot grigio, apply for citizenship in a new country, and take about 6 xanax.

did you follow my directions?  they made more sense right?

 

.bachlorette.weekends.

my two very best BFFs are going to be married in the next year.  WJK and AMC.

i am the MOH in AMC’s wedding and i am first bridesmaid in WJK’s (her little sister is MOH but she is only 16) SOOOOO i have the honor of planning the bachlorette parties.

well i thought i had the honor of planning AMCs until i got a little e-mail from her, where she outlined the weekend we will be having. ONE WORD: BRIDESMAIDS.

it will end up being something similar to this:

and not something like this although i cannot make any promises

and i will be annie,  in coach, hammered out of my mind.  only, thankfully AMC has seen me thorough much worse and she would NEVER leave me for helen.  [i hope].

in WKJs wedding i will be helen.  i will ursurp her littler sister and i will be passing out small labrador pups as gifts.  b.c i am that amazing.  [you have to see the movie b.c there are no clips on youtube]

off to sew my own dress so i can afford all those puppies for WJK’s wedding…